|... And They Built a Crooked
a teutonic fairy tale about teutonic fairies
Once upon a time there was an ingrown little German named Adolf who didn't even live in Germany. He lived in Austria instead. He was short, dark-haired and brown eyed; and he dreamed of being big and blond and blue-eyed and living in real Germany instead of an insignificant little backwater country. So he set out to prove his manhood and superiority by being brave. During WW1 he had the job of carrying messages from one place to another, kind of like an errand boy with pieces of paper. But he was so brave that he won himself the Iron Cross for it. That made him feel really really superior. After the war he continued to want to feel superior, so he started his very own political party dedicated to the idea that Germans were superior, called the German National Socialist Workers Party, otherwise known as the Nazis.
The Nazis took an ancient symbol that represented the sun -- and by extension represented life itself -- and perverted it by making its arms bend in the opposite direction. This made the symbolism mean "anti-life". That sure was a stupid thing to do, because it meant that they were opposed to all life, including their own. Eventually this backwards swastika came to represent not merely their political party, but also their claim of German racial superiority, and oppression of other peoples.
Soon the little German tried to take over Germany and rule it. He failed and did hard time in prison. When he got out he tried again and this time succeeded. He used his control of Germany to take over Austria and Czechoslovakia, invade Poland, France, the USSR ... you know the drill. He wanted to conquer the world. But the world didn't want to be conquered and fought back and conquered Germany instead. But not before the ingrown little German had caused the deaths of millions of innocent people. In the end he and his blond retard girlfriend killed themselves while Berlin burned around them.
What a loser.
Some years later there were a bunch of ingrown Germanics in southern Africa who didn't like anyone who wasn't an ingrown Germanic. These Germanics didn't even speak German, but rather a dialect of Dutch called Africaans. They were Boers, which means "diggers". Some of the Boers hated all people with dark skin and didn't want to live near them. So they started a racist organization. But they needed a symbol. They admired little Adolf (in spite of the fact that he was a total loser and got millions of his precious Germans killed along with everyone else), but were afraid to use his backwards swastika because it was so hated. So they chopped off one of the four arms, ran them the original direction and turned it into this but any idiot could take one look at it and see that it still meant racial hatred, so they failed, their country became democratic and a dark-skinned guy named Mandela got elected to run the country. Not long after that a bunch of them got busted for having a huge stockpile of illegal weapons and their dream of racial separation was shattered forever.
Too fucking bad!
So what can we expect from the small-souled ingrown inbred little racists in the future? Well if we extrapolate past actions into the future we should expect the next group of Germanoid racists to use a symbol that looks roughly like this, with only TWO arms to it. Then they of course will lose, because racists are losers by definition.
Without a doubt another ripple of the unwashed unlettered will arise some time after that, and their symbol will have one arm but no one will get it at all, and they will fail miserably by being completely ignored.
And maybe some time after that one lone overweight Nazi wannabe in Orange County California will write a meandering 700,000 word manifesto that will be so awful that the Unibomber's pedantic scribblings look terse and coherent by comparison, and he will use a swastika that has NO arms to it but absolutely no one will be able to make any sense out of either his symbol or his book and he will die of terminal constipation, alone and unloved.
Which is as it should be.
And hopefully that will be the last we'll see of inbred assholes who judge others by their ancestry.
We should be so lucky.
This fairy tale appeared in Shitbird McGoon